Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
