If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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