If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
