If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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