Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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