ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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