i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
