Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
