wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
