Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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