...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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