He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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