I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
