The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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