So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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