I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I wear drunk well.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
