you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
