Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
