To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
