how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
