I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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