I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
