Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
