I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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