real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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