I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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