im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
