Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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