I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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