who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
