nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This is the high leading the old right now
I stole a fireplace last night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
