Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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