We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
