Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
