I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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