Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
