I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
