I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
