I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
