My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
