why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
