I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
