Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
