Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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