just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
