We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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