If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
