sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
