why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
