I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
